Why I Still Believe

"Scattered words and empty thoughts, seem to pour from my heart

I've never felt so torn before, seems I don't know where to start

but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain, from every fingertip, washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness. I still believe in Your truth. I still believe in Your holy word.

Even when I don't see, I still believe." - Jeremy Camp

There are times in life when it's both easy and natural to doubt the existence of our God. When things happen which don't make sense, when the pain of an experience or a relationship is so deep and searing that it literally takes your breath away. When really bad things happy to really good people. When sin and evil seem to win out, even if for the moment. In these times, we search for meaning and come up wondering where God is in all of it and why He doesn't reach down, step in, and save the day. Why we must endure the suffering and tragic consequences of  man's sinful nature.

It's really easy to believe when life is good, when we feel blessed, and when our lives are pain and trouble free. But I've also come to realize that during those times, it's also really easy to take our relationship with God for granted and to allow drift and space to come in between that relationship. How often do we go to God in prayer when it's all good? How often do we tend to believe that we remain both capable and in control when things are stable and smooth?

I don't believe God causes the pain and sponsors the sin in our lives, but I do believe He uses both for His greater purpose in our lives and in the lives of others. I have found that during those gut-wrenching and intensely painful times, when the hurt is overwhelming, I feel closest to Him. While I know He is always there, I also know that He desires a more personal and intimate relationship with me and quite often the only time I'm willing to slow down and move into a deeper relationship with Him is during my times of need. When I finally realize that I'm not in control, that I can't do it alone, when I can no longer make sense of what is playing out in my life. He doesn't want or cause the pain but He will use it to draw us closer to Him, in the hope that the relationship becomes both sustainable and unconditional - that we will someday come to really know Him and experience the depth of His love for us in ways which transcend the circumstances of our lives. When we finally give up the control and the idea that we can handle everything which comes our way.

I still believe, even when I don't see hope, reason, love, or purpose. I know it's there and I know each of these things will eventually be revealed if I simply continue to press forward on faith, never giving up or giving in. BELIEVE.

"Despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8: 37-39